Men, husbands, fellas, this one is for you.
At some point you may have had this conversation with your wife as she heads to bed. . .
Her: I’m tired, I’m going to bed.
You: Okay Babe. I’ll be in a little bit.
Simple and innocent enough, right?
You lose when you let this happen. Trust me. You lose so much more than you may ever know. What’s more, you may be putting yourself, your wife and perhaps even your marriage in jeopardy.
I don’t want to sound too much like a prophet of doom here but this seemingly simple decision can be a gateway to trouble down the road. We’ve got to head things off before they have a chance to begin. Our marriages depend on it.
Here is the thing: as men, we are “fixers”. We are great, sometimes too great, at solving current problems for others. In fact, we’re made to solve problems. However, seeing and solving our own issues can prove well, problematic. Here are three solid reasons that I learned that support heading off to bed when your wife turns in, no matter how early.
- Sex. I could probably stop my list here, but let’s explore this shall we? When you spend more time in the bed with your wife your chances of sex increase dramatically. I know, it sounds crazy, but it’s a fact. Let that sink in.
- Less Porn. See also #1. Gents, porn is eating away at our marriages. It tricks you and me. It may seem innocent, but it’s not a little thing. No matter what you think about the morality of it, I promise this is a marriage killer. In part it killed mine and according to research, 50% of divorces have porn as a factor. The simple act of going to bed with your wife can change that. Can you honestly say you would rather surf the web than swim under the covers with your bride? Come on man.
- Connect More. Hang time before you nod off to sleep can increase your connection to your partner. My wife and I play Hi/Low, where we share a high and a low from the day. Sometimes we just crash into bed holding hands, sometimes we talk for several minutes. or even pray together for a minute. No matter what, we feel more connected in those last few minutes before we drift away. It’s stellar. Try it out and tell me I’m not right. Go on, I dare ya.
There are a lot more reasons to head off to bed at the same time as your wife: get more sleep, wake up earlier, watch less TV, eat less late at night. Did I mention more sex? You get the idea.
Dive right in and do it. That’s the best way and you are certain to get her attention. But if you have to slow roll it, maybe you’ve got a deadline to meet or a work event, at least you’re starting. Whatever works, heading to bed at the same time as your wife, every night, is a game changer.